I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
