I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
