The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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