Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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