After last night, I could never be a politician.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
