I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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