We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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