Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need a beard to bite.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
