ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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