Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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