his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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