He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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