She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
