The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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