I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
