The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
