She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
