it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
