My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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