I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You took a bar mat shot.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I woke up under a house in Key West
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
