I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Randomize
