The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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