Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
