Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
