Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
