I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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