Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you never un-have a 4some
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
