No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
