she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
