1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it's like iHOP with fire
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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