No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
