I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
