Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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