i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
