fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
