apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
