so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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