Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
