why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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