Your tits are I can't wait for
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
