So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
