Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
