have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
