Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
