I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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