im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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