So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
