But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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