okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
