I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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