yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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