kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
